To Those with Religious Trauma (a letter and meditation)
Holly Madden
I made a promise myself to show up in this space authentically and after a lifetime of being in church and over a decade working in faith spaces till I stepped away in the spring of 2024, I felt led to start here.
From one deconstructing human to another, this journey you are on is entirely yours. It is emotional. It can be heavy and full of grief. It can feel liberating and energizing. There is no determined end point. There is no designated place of arriving. What matters is that you are brave enough to ask the questions, to name harm where it has happened, and to set aside the expectations you once wore to find what you authentically believe. And whatever that is, it’s okay.
I can vividly remember the first time I remember feeling something that felt spiritual, bigger than me. I was a small child playing outside on a playground when a bird landed on the fence near me. There was a connection, a moment, something indescribable, and then the bird flew away and left me a feather, and I have clung onto that memory and that feeling for my entire journey.
This entry is not one to offer you direction, because that it is not what you truly need. What you deserve is the freedom wonder and explore.
-Create your experience, your emotions, your dreams so the muddled language inside you has color.
-Sit with the trees…or with the moss, or the sunlight, or the full moon, or the ocean waves, or the birds….
-Move with gentle intention. Dance, run, move through yoga asañas, or go for a walk…
-Connect with others who are deconstructing or connect with the work of religious trauma. My dear friend, Christie Love is a ordained minister at a progressive faith community who deeply loves the church AND has committed her life’s work to religious trauma. You can follow her work on her substack.
I celebrate you wherever you find yourself at. I honor every emotion, every release, and every moment you feel like you.
This guided meditation above (filmed late at night when I was inspired to create and share, but also happened to be very tired!) was written this heartbeat. I hope you receive it as solidarity, as support, and as friendship.
A quick watercolor journal entry I did 2 years ago called, “deconstruction”